Wednesday, April 20, 2011
WHY MISTAKES ARE GOOD FOR US
Mistakes are a good thing that allow us to fine-tune, realize when we're off course, and make a better choice next time. 1) own up, 2) Learn 3) Forgive yourself 4) Choose a new choice next time. Don't fear the mistake. Fear not fixing it.
Making mistakes help us to break through to the next level. They help us fine-tune.
Don't fear making a mistake.
Does anyone remember learning to ice-skate or roller skate? There is a point where a beginner is able to stand up on the skates and hesitantly move forward, without falling. "Yay, no falling!"
However, are they really "skating?" Not really. I mean, look at any rink at the beginners who look like terrified stiff robots -- they're able to somehow propel themselves forward, seemingly without moving their arms or legs. They appear to need a push from a friend to pick up any speed. They've found one way to "skate" that includes holding their body in a stiff way, and they look pretty ridiculous as they "move" along, knowing if they were to move any limbs -- or even a pinki toe -- they would probably fall.
Side note -- This is how most of us live our lives -- We say "well, I'm still standing! So I'll just keep doing this (going to this job, staying in this relationship, etc.) "Maybe it's not perfect, but at least I won't fall!" And no, you won't fall. But you won't skate either! You won't live your life to the fullest or use your potential either.
Now back to the skating rink -- unless these beginning skaters plan on always looking like a ridiculous robot, they are going to have to take things to the next level. They are certainly going to have to fall in order to learn the next stages of skating.
Ironic isn't it? To learn to skate better, you have to be willing to fall.
"Hmm maybe I'll move my leg out here" *splat*. You fall. And you learn NOT to move your leg that way. "Maybe I'll put my leg over here" *you don't fall, but glide along beautifully. You keep that technique. And so on.
Without the falls, there is no learning or knowledge. There is no improvement.
So when you're facing a fall, remember, it's how we learn.
THIS IS HOW THE PROCESS WORKS:
1) own up -- you must acknowledge that you've just fallen; otherwise you won't learn. If you deny it "That wasn't a fall, it was a slip." Then you WON'T learn. So own up. "Okay, I made a mistake." If your mistake involves others, apologize to them too. If you're part of a skating duo and you drop your partner, tell them you're sorry.
2) Learn -- What is the lesson here? It's not that you're a terrible person. It's that you need to choose a new action next time. This action didn't work. So learn that lesson.
3) Forgive yourself -- beating yourself up for years "I'm such a horrible skater, I can't believe I fell! I suck" will get you no where. So feel some pain, but then make a conscious choice to forgive yourself. We all deserve to be forgiven. Take away the lesson, forget the rest.
4) Choose a new choice next time -- what will you do next time this comes up? Have your choice already decided and clear in your mind. "Next time I'll keep my balance."
5) Don't fear future mistakes -- Fear not fixing it. Mistakes will happen whenever you learn something new. And if you're living to the fullest, you'll be learning new things everyday.
photos from: www. freedigitalphotos net